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A 23-year-old Harare man, Canaan Mumba, has died just 18 days after paying lobola for his wife, Thelma Hliwayo, in a case that has raised questions about the expectations surrounding customary marriage and church-sanctioned weddings.
Mumba reportedly paid roora for Hliwayo on 5 September and was said to have wanted to immediately take his wife home and begin their married life together.
However, according to reports, church leaders allegedly told him that he could not live with his wife until the couple had formally held a white wedding.
The white wedding was reportedly being insisted upon by a pastor, despite Mumba allegedly not having the financial means to organise the ceremony at that time.
In customary practice, the payment of lobola is traditionally regarded as an important step in formalising a marriage between families. However, the circumstances surrounding Mumba and Hliwayo’s marriage reportedly created a dispute over when the couple could begin living together.
Reports further allege that Hliwayo was staying under the custody of the pastor, while her relatives were allegedly being influenced in discussions over when she could be handed over to her husband.
After negotiations between the families, Mumba was reportedly expecting his wife to be handed over on Tuesday night.
That reportedly did not happen. Mumba was later found dead.
A handwritten note believed to have been written by the young man was subsequently recovered. The note reportedly runs across several pages and contains a series of apologies and personal messages to his mother, grandmother, relatives, siblings, friends, co-workers and fellow church members.
In the note, Mumba reportedly revealed that he had been concealing the difficulties he was experiencing from people around him.
He said he had told colleagues that he was already living with the woman he had married, apparently to avoid revealing the problems surrounding the couple’s living arrangements.
“I’m sorry guys, I couldn’t take it anymore,” he reportedly wrote, describing himself as being in pain and saying he felt that his reputation had been damaged.
The note also contained personal requests about his funeral and how he wanted to be remembered.
Among the requests was that three songs by Alen Ketani — Regai Ndizorore, Ndoda Kuuya Ikoko and Zvinowanda Panyika — be played in his memory.
He also left a message expressing his love for his mother.
The note ended with the words: “Yours In Pain, Canaan.”
Mumba reportedly made serious allegations against the pastor and members of his family, as well as Hliwayo’s mother and other individuals whom he believed had contributed to the distress he was experiencing.
He also reportedly called for the circumstances surrounding his situation to be investigated.
Among the matters he wanted examined were pre-marital counselling sessions allegedly held in Waterfalls before and after the lobola ceremony.
Mumba also reportedly asked that messages on his phone be reviewed, apparently believing they could provide additional context about what had happened in the days leading up to his death.
The allegations contained in the note have not independently established that any of the people named were responsible for Mumba’s death or distress.
The circumstances surrounding his death, as well as the allegations made in his final note, would therefore require investigation before any conclusions can be drawn.
His death has nevertheless left questions about the conflict that can arise when customary marriage practices, family expectations and church requirements intersect, particularly when couples face financial difficulties in meeting the expectations associated with a formal white wedding.
The case is expected to attract further attention as the circumstances surrounding Mumba’s final days and the contents of his handwritten note are examined.
